Sweet Release -brohnny-

To Johnny, Brian is like drugs.

Just one glance can make him forget every worry, every ache or pain he has, a single touch gets him hooked like a heroin addict on his first day relapsing.

It’s been like that since they were twelve, when Johnny lost his grip on the big tree by the river and he cried because he was so scared he’d drown, and Brian had held him close while he stopped shaking.

When Brian was the only one who would talk to him for three whole weeks after Johnny had been caught making out with some stranger in the bathroom of someone house party when he was 16, Johnny realized how dependant he was on Brian. At that same party, Brian had stayed in the bathroom the whole night to make sure no one took advantage of Johnny, who had passed out in the bathtub with his shirt riding up his chest and a bottle of whiskey clenched in his fist.

Brian was there to smooth his bruises when he first joined the band and Matt would beat him black and blue for the fun of it. Sure, Brian would wind him up when he was drunk past his limit, but he’d be there to make it all okay when the rest of the band were asleep, climbing in next to him and whispering soothing words to him, his fingers feather light over the scar he’d got from falling out of that tree. Johnny smiled through the days he was punched, letting it out at such a close proximity as his hands curled up into fists and he cried silently; glad he had someone like Brian in his life.

Johnny knows it can’t last, Brian’s wedding is in two weeks and he knows Brian doesn’t connect with Michelle like they do, but he can’t do anything about it. Johnny’ll sit back and let it happen, because that’s what good friends do, even if they know it won’t last. Because Brian seems happy with Michelle, happy like he’s never been with Johnny. They won’t last long, maybe five years before Brian slips or Michelle makes a mistake, or the pressure will get too much for the both of them. They’ll stay friends, they’ve dated for too long to break all contact, but it’ll kill Brian to be a part of a failed marriage.

Johnny will wait as long as he has to. He’ll wait until Brian slips into a hotel bed with him and they’ll reunite like they did when Johnny was eighteen and they had a huge king bed, Brian fitting into Johnny like two pieces of a puzzle. Johnny knows he’ll ache and ache until that happens, until his drug returns to him, but a recovery period won’t hurt for a little while, until he gets his dosage back, until his body is filled with the sweet release of Brian.

He knows he won’t need to wait too long. Sometimes, the drug needs the junkie to carry on.

Brian’s just as hooked on Johnny as the latter is to the former. And there’s nothing any of them can do to change it.