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--Andy POV--

It's too hot in LA; it's got to be at least a million degrees or something. Why the fuck haven't I moved from this cramped-ass space? I'm sure if I sat under that tree over there, I'd still have a perfect view and a bit more shade than in a bush. But then he might see me. Would I really be that visible from a tree? Probably. The sun virtually makes everything stand out ten times more, and I stand out anyway, and thats just in a crowd. If I was alone, without 100 or so people around me, with the sun beating down, I'm pretty sure I'd stand out. Maybe he'd think I'm a dog? Wait, no, of course not, no dog looks like a hybrid between a spider, a gazelle and a... fluffy haired... thing. Thanks to the damn humidity, my hair's fluffy as crap, which makes it so much easier to sta- oh crap, I have to sneeze. He's gonna hear me sneeze! He'll figure out I've been watching him sunbathe for the past hour and hate me. Oh God, not now. He's freaking glistening in the heat, I can't sneeze now. Maybe I can- ATCHOO!


He's looking at me. Well, the bush. Please, please don't come over here. Just keep lying down with your shirt off, don't look at the sneezing bush. Nothing wrong about a sneezing bush. Oh thank God, he's not looking anymore. Thank fucking-

"Hey, Andy?"

"Shit!" I whispered, almost falling out of the bush. It wasn't much of a whisper, more of an annoyed squeak. I looked up to see Jinxx on his knees, looking at me with a confused expression. "What the fuck, dude?!"

"Same could be said to you, you're the one staring at Ashley from a bush. Why exactly are you, anyway?"

"He's sunbathing..."

"And? Why would you- ohhhh," Jinxx smirked, poking his head briefly out of the bush. "Hey, guys, I was right! He is watching him!"

"What the fuck, Jinxx?"

"Me, Christian and Jake had a bet on what you were doing in the bush. I won," Jinxx grinned, settling back down in the shrubbery, "I'm getting $20 thanks to you"

"Hey, Jinxx, move your fat ass, we need to get in," Jake whispered, squeezing into the bush. CC followed, poking his head in the bush and frowning at me.

"Why couldn't you've been looking for bugs, Andy?" CC whispered, attempting to crawl into the bushes, "I would've got $20 if you weren't such a pervert,"

"I'm not a pervert!" I snapped, glaring at him, "I'm just... shut up,"

"Fuck, Jake, your knee is digging into my crotch!"

"If you moved, it wouldn't be!"

"At least you guys can fit in, my ass is stuck out in the fucking heat!"

"Maybe if you went on a diet, you could-"

"Would you guys shut the fuck up?!" I whispered desperatley, glaring at the three of them, "If you're gonna call me a pervert, at least let me be one!"

"Okay, calm down, gazelle," Jake giggled, poking my legs with his foot, "If you had shorter legs, maybe we could all fit in here,"

"Why are you watching him from a bush, anyways?" Jinxx whispered, looking out of the bush at Ashley, who surprisingly hadn't shot at this bush, what with all the noise coming from it, "Can't you watch him eating, or sleeping, or trying to struggle out of the chains you're eventually gonna tie him up in, or trying to regain consciousness after you-"

"Shut up, Jinxx!" I squeaked, kicking him in the shins and glaring at him, "What, do you think I'm a fucking rapist?!"

"Not yet," whispered CC, smirking at me.

"Least I can fit in a freaking bush,"

"I'd be able to, if it wasn't for your gazelle legs..."

"Look," Jake whispered, sounding annoyed, "CC, try to lie over our legs or something, I'm sure most of you can fit. Unless Andy is willing to move his legs out of the bush a bit...?"

"Ugh, fine," I snapped, wriggling around and re-adjusting my legs outside the bush, "Now can you fit your fat ass in here?!"

"Yeess," CC whispered, crawling into the bush and leaning against my back,

"Good, cause I'm not moving anymore,"

"Thaaank you, Andrew, you're my hero!" he swooned, teasingly, "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Shut up," I whispered, pulling his hair,


"Shh!" Jake scowled, glaring at me and CC, "Andy, don't be mean to CC. CC, stop being such a pussy and winding up Andy,"


"Shut up, seriously," Jinxx huffed, "If the both of you don't shut up, I'll shave you both while you sleep."

"Thats not fair, dude!"

"I. Don't. Care.  CC. Now shut up and let Andy play paedo for the day."

"Hey!" I whined, pouting at Jinxx who was smirking at me as usual, "I'm not a-"

"Oh hush up and stare at your beloved Purdy,"

"What are you still doing here, anyway?" I asked, trying to get my view of Ashley back, "Can't you go annoy someone else?"

"Well, we could," said Jake, leaning against Jinxx chest to get more comfortable, "But it's just so easy to piss you off. Why are you watching him, anyway?"

"He just looks... gorgeous when he sunbathes," I whispered, shifting my legs, which had already started to cramp up in the unconfortable position that they were in, "I just... I don't know... He just looks so relaxed..."

"Aww, Andy's got a crush," Jinxx giggled, grinning at me.

"I can't see him anymore," I whispered, peering out of the bush, "Maybe he's-"

"Excuse me," a voice said, coming from the top of the bush, "But what the fuck are you doing?"

I peered up, to see a stern looking Ashley glaring at the four of us in our bush. He was glistening with small beads of sweat. Ugh, he looks God-like from this angle. He looks God-like from any angle, but sweet mother of God, he looks amazing right now.

"Well?!" he snapped, glaring at me specifically. I looked around, to find that everyone else was staring at me aswell.

"Uhh, how'd you know we were here?"

"Andrew, I can see your huge-ass legs sticking out of a bush. I don't tend to see bushes with skin-tight skinny jean-clad legs everyday."

"Well, uhh..."

"Andy was watching you sunbathe," Jake blurted out, shying away from Ashley's extreme glare of impending doom.

"Wait, what?" Ashley said, blushing slightly, "You were watching me sunbathe?!" I nodded quietly, not looking up at him. CC nudged my back, making me look back at him. He was twitching his head up in the direction of Ashley. I looked up at Ashley, who was now biting his bottom lip and blushing furiously. I felt my cheeks flushing, adding extra heat to my already flushed face.

"Uhh, I-I'm sorry, Ash..."

"Can... Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh, sure," I managed out, blinking rapidly. Jinxx, Jake and CC stared at me, wide-eyed.

"Um, alone." Ashley stated, looking at the three squashed up guys. It took about 2 minutes for them all to wriggle out of the cramped bush, but they eventually got out, after a lot of mumbling and struggling, not to mention the shoving. Ashley awkward climbed into the bush, settling himself opposite me. "You can, uh, you can bring your legs back in now..."

"Huh? Oh! Oh yeah," I stuttered, realizing my legs were still half outside the bush. I brought them back in, hugging them against my chest.

"Why exactly we're you watching me, Andy?"

"Look, I don't know, I just-"

"Don't make excuses, Andrew. I want the truth, now."

"Ithinkyoulookhotwhenyousunbathe." I blurted out, looking down at the grass, ashamed. There was an awkward silence, and when I looked back up at Ashley, he was just inches away from my face, a small smile on his face.

"Really, Andy? That's all?"


"Good, I thought you were doing something serious..." he whispered, leaning closer towards me.

"Uhh... Wh-What a-are you doing?"

"Shh, Andy,"

"But-" I started, getting interrupted by Ashley's sweet lips on mine. I closed my eyes, taking in the taste. He tasted of bubblemint. I kinda suspected he would, but this was just amazing. He slid into my lap, his mouth still connected to mine. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me. He pulled away, smiling sweetly at my shocked expression.

"Ash..." I whispered, breathing deeply.

"Mm-mm," he giggled, leaning in and kissing my shoulder blades. "Don't say anything, just let this happen," I nodded, bringing his face back up to mine and kissing him softly. He giggled quietly into the kiss, pulling away and standing up awkwardly in the bush. I looked up at him, confused.

"What're you-"

"No offence, but I don't really hook up with anyone in bushes. Not really comfortable," he giggled, pulling me up. My legs were stiff, probably from the hour and a half I'd been sitting in a bush.

"Where are we going?"

"My place," Ashley smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I followed him out of the bush, smirking to myself.

Everything is gonna be stiff tomorrow.
RANDOM TITLE IS RANDOM. I know, it has nothing to do with honey or badgers, let alone honey badgers, but I had no title, so I called it Honey Badger. Cause honey badgers are freakin awesome!

Well it was either 'Honey Badger' or 'Excuse Me While I Watch You Sunbathe & Then Attempt To Hide My Gazelle Legs From Your Sight, Which Is Physically Impossible, As I Am Andy Biersack And My Gazelle Legs Are Completely Visible From Bushes'. But that just wouldn't fit, so Honey Badger it is!

Yes, I'm writing this before writing the actual thing itself, so I might hopefully come up with a better title. Or the idea I have might change. But I hope not. I just want at least one Andley fanfic metioning Andy & his gazelle legs watching Ashley from a bush. This should be interesting to write.

Add a Comment:
A7XFan666 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015
awesome Andley is awesome^^ 
fdtob Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Seeing the title, i thought  Andy and Ash were gonna do a lot of cinky shit. I was a little scared at first... But it was really funny and cool. Awesome job!
HeyItzNicole Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Student Artist
Dude...I love u ... This is the best
BvBAngel7897 Featured By Owner Edited Dec 13, 2014
:D Seriously these are the besssst :D
BvBAngel7897 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2014
ARandomHorseLover Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Student General Artist
"Andrew i can see your huge ass legs poking out the bush "

xD i was laughing so hard at all 4 of them in the bush xD
linzlovesamdyb16 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, I was wondering if I could do a reading of this on my youtube page. May I please? :rose:
TweetSnape Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course you can hun, I'm glad you like it enough to do a reading of it! :heart:
linzlovesamdyb16 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
okay, ill let you know when it gets posted
XXdeath-slave01XX Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
so cuteee!!! lol excuse me while i have my fangirl extreme squee moment

ok im back.. geez i need to control the inner fangirl.. *kicks inner fangirl* owieee!!!!!!!!

ok its never going away..

K-1-L-L-J-0-Y Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
OH MY SWEET BABY JESUS. This is the best Andley I've EVER read.
deathsheartbeat Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
ArsonistAtHeart080 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm about to die from laughing XD
The four of them trying to fit in one bush!
DemonAtHeart080 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Dear lord, I laughed so loud at this. It's adorable and funny.
I would love to see Andy, CC, Jinxx and Jake all try to fit in a bush
lybysilsa Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Please, I begith you for more!
vaam-chan Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I did enjoy the fanfic, though I have to admit, I did click on it because of the title. I was thinking "What the? Who's gonna be the honey badger and why doesn't he give a shit?"
Glad I read it though, it's really good.
bluepuppyeyes99 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Is this a one shot cuz it's freaked amazing and I would luv morw
XXdeath-slave01XX Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
i love ur username!! and YEAH MORE MORE MORE!!
bluepuppyeyes99 Featured By Owner May 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
thank u!! and yuss!!
TheUnholyRebel Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
I couldn't stop laughing, and woke up everyone. Lol
NinjaWolfBaby Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
ROFFL ADORE THIS!!! Love the 2nd title choice XD
bluepuppyeyes99 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
that is very cute and i laughed very hard through most of it. it was pretty funny ^^
bluepuppyeyes99 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
is this a single story?
CrimsonScissorhands Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
OMG. OMG. OMG. -squeals-
SarahBubble245 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2012
AHHHH! you should make a sequel!!!!
Kittehlovescookies Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
I loved it! <3 :DD =^.^=
Poptart-Princess Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2012  Student Artist
ummm IS THERE MORE?????
rockhorsegeek Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012
Aww, I love this! It's awesome! :)
Bleach-Heart Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
:giggle: I love it! :D
HeroineOfTheDay Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Student Writer
Aww! In Andy's defense I'd b watching ash too
xDoodyx Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012
TweetSnape Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
faggot. i hate you.
xDoodyx Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012
fanks hun xoxo
TweetSnape Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
s'ok bby xoxoxoxoxooxoxjasiojdasdfe
KaciBrianna Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
:iconashleypurdyplz: + :iconandybiersackplz: = :iconnosebleedplz:
musicfreaklisa Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011  Student General Artist
Omg this was amazing! Truly amazing <3
Ivytiger53 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2011
I liked it but there is something wrong with a sneezing bush!
EmoNoelRocks Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
"Nothing wrong with a sneezing bush."
RawritsKyra Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011
I loved this. SO MUCH<3
I was laughing my ass off most of the time cause I could totally imagine all of them in a bush while Ashley sunbathed his heavenly body xD
SarahMotte Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I love this.
PrincessOfPuertoRico Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011  Student Writer
This made me laugh like hell;; I couldnt help it. Especially with the *kiss* !
saskikana Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not a big fan of Andley, but I love this one! ^^ The fact they all crawl into a bush... and gazelle legs... it's just genius!
FeelTheRomance13 Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
Gazelle legs. Alcosocowlemwkxof. I can't even. Omfg. I liked it though, had me giggling. XD
onepiecetreasure Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
WorryStoneKey Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2011  Student Writer
are you gonna write a sequel?
BVBandTH4evr Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011
He's looking at me. Well, the bush. Please, please don't come over here. Just keep lying down with your shirt off, don't look at the sneezing bush. Nothing wrong about a sneezing bush. Oh thank God, he's not looking anymore. <- my favorite part!
MrThisgirl Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011

I've already translated this story to Hungarian 'cause I really love it! :D

I'd like to share it in the biggest Hungarian fanfic site, Merengő ([link]) and maybe in Töviskapu ( and Anime Fanfiction Style ([link]).

Can I have your permission to do this? Of course I will mark your name and the address of the original story. I really look forward to share this lovely story with the Hungarian readers. :)

Naturally, someone else will review my translation 'cause sometimes my English is really crappy. :')

TweetSnape Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Of course you can, I'm glad you liked it enough to share it! :D
MrThisgirl Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011
Thanks. :)

Here it is in Hungarian:


M-T-E-26 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
please, more! :D
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Submitted on
June 29, 2011
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