Gone -Ryden-

"Ryan?"

Ryan looks up from his suitcase, locking eyes with the boy in the doorframe. He looks worried, sad even, at the sight of his boyfriend packing his clothes into the small case.

"Go back to bed love, its okay," Ryan whispers, brushing some strands of hair out of his face. He hadn't slept in days, maybe weeks. Night after night spent tossing and turning in the bed he shares with his lover, unable to sleep once again.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Brendon whispers, padding softly into the living room, perching himself gently on the arm of a lounge chair. His eyes are sad, lacking the shine they usually have. He's dressed in nothing but old pyjama pants, borrowed from Ryan.

"Brendon, please," Ryan says softly, closing the suitcase and zipping it up. He's wearing Brendon's clothes - Brendon's jeans, his old shirt, and his jacket. He's brushed his messy hair multiple times, but can't get the week-old tangles out. He lacks the gentle nature that Brendon has when it comes to that, tugging strands of hair out instead of just brushing. He lacks a lot of things he admires about Brendon. "Just go back to bed, it's fine. Everything's fine."

"Ryan... Don't do this." the boy whispers, holding back tears. Ryan is holding them back too, he has been for a while. Brendon slides of the arm of the chair, walking slowly up to his boyfriend of five years. He joins their hands, trembling, looking sadly at Ryan. "Please, Ryan, don't." he repeats, his voice wavering. Ryan bites his lip, his arms twitching to wrap around Brendon, and coo at him, telling him that everything will be okay, and he won't leave, and that he loves him. But he can't. He can't stay. Not after what he's done. After what he's done to Brendon. Tears start leaking from the younger boys eyes, slowly trailing down his soft cheeks. Ryan wants to wipe them away so badly, but he knows he can't. He can't get emotional, not now. He has to leave, for Brendon's sake.

"I'm so sorry, Brendon," Ryan whispers, closing his eyes and letting go of Brendon's hands. He sighs wearily, lighting a candle on the table so he can see if there is anything else he needs to pack. Nothing of need on the table, just some papers, a few pencils, a book, and a pair of scissors. But there is the picture of them, from two years ago, when they were still completely in love. Ryan's arms were wrapped around Brendon, who had his head on Ryan's shoulder, eyes closed and a small smile on his lips. Ryan bites his lip more, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. He screws his eyes shut, determined not to cry. He picks the picture up, unzipping the suitcase again to put it on top of his creased, unfolded clothes. He turns back to Brendon, who has now stopped crying and is just staring sadly at Ryan.

"Why, Ryan?" he asks, blinking away more tears. He breaths slowly, watching as Ryan turns around again, closing the suitcase once more and zipping it up again. He picks he heavy case up and lifts it off the table, refusing to look at his boyfriend in the flickering candlelight. Brendon puts an arm across Ryan's chest, stopping him from leaving. "Why?"

"I have to, Brendon," Ryan says, closing his eyes in fear of seeing Brendon's face. Brendon puts his hand on Ryan's cheek, turning his face towards his. Ryan opens his eyes, looking at the trembling boy with tear stained cheeks, his plump pressed together. He moves Brendon's hand away, walking towards the front door. Brendon's eyes follow him to the door, his arms wrapping around his bare chest.

"Ryan?" Brendon whispers, his voice barely audible. Ryan turns around, his whole body aching to run back to Brendon and hold him forever.

"Hmm?"

"I love you, Ryan..." Brendon's voice cracks, tears pouring from his eyes again. Ryan nods, turning to open the door. He bites his lip again, closing his eyes as he opens the door. He turns once again, looking sadly at the breaking boy in the candlelight. Ryan turns for the last time, walking out and closing the door behind him. As he walks down the steps, he hears Brendon as he begins to sob, his cries enough to break his heart. Ryan reaches the last step and climbs into his car, putting his suitcase in the backseat. He starts up the car and drives away from the house he shared with Brendon for three years. He drives away from his fondest memories, his longest and happiest relationship. His whole life.